One of the best feelings in the world is the satisfaction that comes from helping someone. Whether it's your neighbor, your child, or an old lady trying to cross the street, instances where you are able to assist someone can be impactful far beyond the surface. These instances provide space to experience the beauty of human connection, and vulnerability. By being willing to meet someone where they're at, it exercises one's ability to be patient. By being willing to ask for help when necessary, it exercises one's ability to be humble. However, like everything else in life, "helping" must be done in moderation, and in a way that is not detrimental to a person's own wellbeing.
Although this idea may seem quite obvious, many people simply are unable to find the appropriate balance between self-care and self-sacrifice. In fact, for some, being the person that everyone goes to for help and support is the one thing that affords them the validation they seek. With that being the silver lining, there are few positive outcomes for the individual who chooses to pour into the world without ever refilling their own cup. As a woman of color, I grew up watching the women around me rise to the occasion and handle things. Regardless of their needs, personal goals, or ambitions, they handled every obstacle that was thrown their way. Not only did they take care of things for themselves, but these strong women helped everyone around them handle their afflictions as well. All the while praying and believing that one day they would be rewarded for their efforts.
|Photographer: Karen Alfaro|
In this case, the focus must be placed on creating balance in one's life on all fronts. Keep in mind that having a "well-balanced life" will look different for everyone. Nevertheless, a good place to start is by being intentional about which situations you intervene in, and understanding that not every battle is yours to fight. Sometimes balance can mean simply sharing resources with someone, rather than trying to provide what they need on your own. In addition, balance can also look like pouring into others, as you simultaneously pour into yourself. However, the minute that delicate equilibrium is disturbed, the risk that someone will either overburden themselves or act out of selfishness, becomes far greater. Lastly, balance can also be achieved by setting and enforcing clear boundaries with the people in your life. Be aware though, you may encounter some pushback when you begin prioritizing yourself. This is not something to be taken lightly. Pay close attention to the people that become cold when they lose access to you in some way. In most cases, those people were hoping to continue benefiting off of your desire to help, with no intention of offering anything in return.
With this in mind, please take one thing to heart. YOU ARE ENOUGH! You do not need to go around extending yourself to every person or solving every problem. You don't need to go around fighting everyone's battles just to prove that you are a warrior. You are worthy of love and acceptance. So today I challenge you to be more mindful and intentional about who you're giving your effort and energy to in the name of "helping". Take a moment to consider the ways in which you are working to fill your own cup on a regular basis. If after your evaluation you find that you are giving more of yourself than you can afford to, know that no regret is greater than the life you could have lived... If you had only put on your own lifevest before trying to save someone else.
All Power And Love To The People,